2022 Roofing New Year Resolution

  1. I will stop using paper thin 50 year shingles that might last 20 years
  2. I will stop using garbage electro galvanized nails that rust and dissolve and are referred to galvanized nails on my contracts
  3. I will stop using no caulk pipe flashings that fail long before the shingles do
  4. I will only use plastic attic vents at the beach
  5. I will seal underneath ridge vents like I should
  6. I will extend shingles past T metal like I should
  7. I will no longer have 60-70-80-90% of shingle nails over driven, angle driven, misplaced
  8. I will seal between the tops of all flanges and the underside of lapping shingles
  9. If installing plywood on rafters I will have 1/8” gaps at all seams
  10. If installing plywood on space sheathing or ship lap I will have end joints centered on rafters, like the big boys do it
  11. I will fasten plywood with ring shank nails not N type staples
  12. I will have no employees who are here illegally. Good luck with that one
  13. I will only sub out jobs to licensed roofers who pay workmen’s compensation insurance and do not use workers here illegally. Ditto above
  14. I will only pay salary / hourly never piecework
  15. At least one member of every crew will speak fluent English
  16. I will no longer damage gutters, siding, and landscaping and refuse to take responsibility for my careless actions
  17. In other words, I will no longer do my jobs like Tileman

And lord willing, if I am able to accomplish this I can hang up my spurs with pride and a profound sense of relief and honestly refer to myself as a professional. Amen.

I am officially living in your head rent free but I’m thinking I should give my 30 day notice. The place is really dirty and unkempt. It’s getting creepy how every post of yours mentions me. Do you wake up every morning with me as your first thought? Don’t be scared, I don’t wear Wranglers with a Skoal ring on the back pocket like all the guys who apparently have terrorized and scarred you your entire life.

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